Shower Dance

Last night Mer and I went out with Naba and Pia. Pia is one of Albert’s business partners. She is Finnish and is married to Nepali Naba. A while back we had asked Naba if there were any gay bars or clubs in Kathmandu and he said that there was one called Via Via in touristy Thamel. With this plan in mind we went to a Korean restaurant first where we roasted our own meat (I ate none because I am easily vegetarian here – and in a healthy way). Anyhow, while we ate our Korean food, the mosquitoes feasted on us. I’ve been super nauseous lately, and Pia suggested some local rum to kill whatever is making me pukey. Amazingly, I have not been nauseous since. Go alcohol.

We then went to Via Via which was only gay because Meredith and I were there. I had a milkshake like the 10 year old I am and then I convinced Naba to find me a "shower dance". There are advertisements in Thamel for “shower dances” and usually they’re accompanied by a picture of Angelina Jolie or Jessica Simpson. Pia said there was not likely to be any dancing in any showers of water, but probably girls dancing with poles. Naba argued that shower dances did exist and finally we went to go see for ourselves.

The first place we went into had a woman dancing with a pole. One point for Pia. The second place we went into had this scene: A woman dancing. No pole. Two large trees with green flashing lights on it and in the middle of the trees: two shower heads. SHOWER DANCE WHAT WHAT. They heads weren’t on and no one was showering, but they existed. As we walked there seemed to be a bunch of people enjoying themselves, but then everyone stood up because they all worked there and we were customers. Immediately someone grabbed hold of my wrist and lead me to a seat close to the large trees. SHOWER DANCE WHAT WHAT. We ordered some beer and sat down to watch. After about five dances of the scantily clad (no nudity) women dancing awkwardly we began to wonder if they were going to turn on the shower heads. Naba argued with one of the waitresses and it was pretty clear there was going to be no shower and no dance in the shower. We watched some skinny guy get up and dance in front of a confused girl and left.

I don't think that story could have been more anti-climactic if I had tried.

Anyhow, we put some money down on an apartment today. Tomorrow we will go clean it with Shusila and then we will live there. Here's the man who helped us find it next to Meredith and Shusila.

Birthday - Nepali Style

I spent number 26 in Kathmandu.

Too bad I'm still recovering from my first Nepali sickness because supposedly Meredith was planning the biggest birthday bash ever for me. Since we were still sick, she did this second biggest birthday bash:

Cooked me french toast with fruit compote.
Gave me a ring. (How many parents had heart-attacks from that sentence?)
Promised me a trip to Pokhara.
Took me to dinner at our favorite nearby restaurant at the Hotel Himalaya.

I love the Hotel Himalaya. They serve awesome American/Nepali buffets. The waiter said I was "very handsome gentlemen" and my birthday was complete. Meredith and I love to play the game where we guess what kind of people stay at this hotel, because it's really inconvenient to get to and far from any touristy things to do. The last time we went there just for dessert, and this mid 20's American remarked that we looked too young to be able to afford "this place." I can think of so many responses to that statement now, all of which I did not say at the time.

I swear things will get more interesting on this blog once I am not stuck in my apartment pretending to live.

At least this guy knows what's up:

Sick and Breast Massage

(Me checking my 103 temp with a cold pair of underwear on my head)

About five days ago I started getting the same awful cough that Meredith has had for a while. She was still pretty sick and was going crazy from the dog barking and metal grinding that surrounds our house 24/7. We decided that we would move to a hotel for a few days for some peace and quiet. We found a place called Kathmandu Peace Guest House which is just outside of Thamel (the really touristy part of Kathmandu). Then we went to do Meredith's favorite thing in the world: get a massage.

I've only gotten three professional massages in my life. One was free at a pole vault meet and the second two were from massage students in Alburquerque and Los Angeles, respectively. I had gotten a massage in Kathmandu at a resort near our apartment, so I knew that the Nepali massages included a "breast massage." Meredith enjoyed me squirm as my female masseuse tapped me and said: "breast massage?" Errrr...I struggled for an answer and then asked the masseuse if Meredith was getting one. Meredith shouted at me: "Yes, just get one!" So, I did and it was fine.

Anyhow, we went to a spa to get another massage and this time we were in separate rooms because I was getting a 90 minute massage so Meredith could get do 30 minutes of sauna. My male masseuse entered and gave me a damn good massage (including the infamous "breast massage" - not as fine this time but whatever). Near the end we started talking and he asked me if I was married. No, I wasn't I replied. He chatted some more and then he asked me for my phone number. Since, I was naked, I said "okay, but I'm naked - let me put some clothes on and then I'll come out and give it to you." As I was dressing I realized that he probably thought I was about to put on some girly clothes. Oh man, hope he dates dykes. Well, turns out he doesn't date dykes:

Him: Oh, I see you wear boys clothes.
Me: Yes, yes I do.
Him: Only today or everyday?
Me: Every day. Even Tuesday.

I didn't say the "Even Tuesday" part but that would have been funny if I did. He was totally heartbroken. He didn't even have the heart to just pretend he still wanted my number. No more breast massage for me.

So, anyways, and then I got really sick the next day. Had 102.5 degree temp and went to a hospital to get some antibiotics and not die. The first hospital checked my temperature under my arm and said my temp was 98.5. As I sat there bathed in sweat and roasting I was like: "Feel my head! You don't even need a thermometer to know I have temperature!!!" They sent me to the regular doctor because apparently I was totally imagining my high temp. We arrived at a room that had a bunch of people sitting in it like they had been waiting an eternity. I started crying and we went to another hospital.

I got antibiotics and suffered like the baby I am through the next five days. I almost went to the hospital again because my temperature flew up to 103.5, but then it went down pretty quickly again. Now we're back at the apartment and desperately searching for a new one.

Let me know if you know of anything in Kathmandu.

Sick

I'm in a hotel.
Went to hospital.
Had a 103.5 degree temp.
Doing nothing but watching movies, taking meds, and trying to get better.

Talk to you soon.

American Friend and Gai Jatra

American Friend

I made an American friend in Nepal, but now she is gone, so I’m not sure if she still counts. Her name is (was?) Olivia, and I met her at the Aarohan Theater. She goes to Drew University in New Jersey and has been staying at Aarohan for the past six weeks. She learned a surprising amount of Nepali and knew nearly everyone at the theater. I think I mentioned in my last post how much Aarohan is like a camp. Most of the staff lives there and when students come from the various villages, they reside there. They have a ping pong table and a game that resembles pool. Here’s the Artistic Director playing ping pong and kicking ass:




They eat at the “canteen,” a communal eating area where they serve tasty Nepali food. There are two indoor theaters; one is a black box and one a lot larger. I watched a group of students, from this remote village in the mountains called Mogu, rehearse a play they will be performing in a few days. It is in their native language, so most people at the show will not know what they are saying. Olivia said it is going to be a very visual show so it will be easy to understand, but I was very lost during the rehearsal. Maybe I’m missing the visual cues…? Here’s Olivia with two men from Mogu and a woman from a town I always forget the name of:



I really enjoy hanging out at Aarohan, but I have yet to assist them in any way beyond being an interesting foreigner and an audience member. I was supposed to help with the website yesterday but Jeebesh, my main contact there, was at exams all day despite the fact that he had invited me to work on the website yesterday. I was supposed to do my lecture today but my translator, Jeebesh, had exams today, too. So, I’ve had fun hanging out at this camp theater place and meeting all the artists that work there. They are very animated and friendly and one of my favorite people, Min, has invited Meredith and I to visit to Mogu. He also said he wants to go bungee jumping with me!!! AHHH. There is the world’s longest bungee jump in Nepal. Don’t worry, no one has died there, yet.

Gai Jatra

Last Sunday, Shusila our wonderful cook, took us to Bhaktapur a town inside Kathmandu Valley for this festival called Gai Jatra. This festival allows people to pay homage to family members who have passed away this year. Sorej, Shusila’s brother, said Nepali people also take this opportunity to make fun of political leaders. Shusila came to our apartment to pick us up and we took two buses to Bhaktapur. The first one had goats on top of it:



While on the bus, Shusila pointed to one of the men on the bus, and in her limited/awesome English said: Goat Man.

On the second bus, Meredith started to get some bad allergies so I gave her my handy dandy bandana. Look at the angry man behind her, maybe he thinks she is going to try and take his money:



After a two hour journey we arrived in Bhaktapur. We had to pay 750 rupees, almost $12.00 to get into the durbar (palace) squares. This, though it may seem like very little, is actually a lot of money to pay to get into somewhere. Relatively, it’s nearly five times an average Nepali daily salary. Well, luckily for the Nepali people, they only charge Foreigners.



The best part is the latthi nach or “stick dance” where men dance and bang sticks together. It’s beautiful and captivating and Shusila thought it was hilarious when I would move my head to the rhythm.



Meredith and Shusila also thought it was hilarious when Meredith poured scalding tea on my thigh. Stupid senses of humor. This happened while we were eating at a restaurant we had deemed “white restaurant” because we had seen it from afar and noticed there were only white people eating there. We decided not to eat there, but then Shusila suggested it and we didn’t want to be rude and also we are white. Here’s our view:



I will spend very little time on this, because I’m very embarrassed, but, we got mhendi. Shusila, Meredith, and I, all got mhendi (aka Henna) on our hands. We attracted a lot of attention as we were painted, though I’m not sure if it was because we were foreigners or because it’s so fun to watch the men create intricate little patterns on our hands.




Speaking of being gay, we saw a few men dressed as women. I read the next day that the only gay group in Nepal, The Blue Diamond Society, used the festival to raise awareness for “third sex” rights. As far as I can tell, third sex refers to men who dressed as women. Like Thailand, these transwomen (this term may be a misnomer for them), mainly work as prostitutes and while they are accepted to some extent, are marginalized and ostracized. I am planning on going to the Blue Diamond Society to check them out and see if I can volunteer.




Overall, it was a fun trip to Gai Jatra and Bhaktapur. Shusila is a great guide and friend. She is going to take us to one of the big (read: expensive) resorts in Nepal on Saturday where she takes cooking lessons.

Here’s the best picture I took at Gai Jatra (mostly it's impressive because my camera is a piece of shit):

Bouda, The Theater, and Meredith Gets a Staph Infection

Meredith Gets a Staph Infection

staph·y·lo·coc·cus n (aka staph)
A bacterium that typically occurs in clusters resembling grapes, normally inhabits the skin and mucous membranes, and may cause disease. Genus: Staphylococcus

We didn’t want to tell you, but Meredith got a staph infection. Don’t worry, she’s better now. It all started as a weird bump on her back (maybe it was a bug bite or maybe acne…) that caused her whole back to ache. She took matters into her own hands and decided to treat it with hydrogen peroxide. Really that did nothing but sear her skin and make everything worse:



This “treatment” happened at night, so instead of a doctor we got to take our first trip to the emergency room! We’re so lucky. Actually, we are because it was my favorite experience at a hospital. We were there so short that our taxi waited for us.



The only weird part is that it’s a really small hospital and nothing is very private. Here’s Meredith getting examined. She loves it:



The doctor facetiously asked her if she was training to be a doctor since she had decided to treat herself. HAHA, no she wasn’t. He prescribed her some antibiotics, we paid about $20 in all and went home. She’s all better now:





The Theater
(This part is altered from an email I sent someone...)

I went to the theater I'm going to be working for. They are called Aarohan and are super political and socially conscious, but not in an annoying way that makes you want to never vote again. Here’s the welcome sign:



They seem excited to have me there, but I don't think they know how best to utilize me. For now, I’m going to do a lecture on arts management for some of their students and also help out with their website. Unfortunately, both of these duties are very short term, and I want to be more involved. I think the more I’m around there, the better they'll know how to use me. I’m most excited about their international theater festival in November. There are, tentatively, 10 different countries coming so far. Including two from the USA.

Also, they do this thing called Legislative Theater. It’s a kind of theater that helps the people create laws. A man named Augusto Boal created it and used it in Brazil. Look it up...it's ridiculously awesome.

Also, they idolize Henrik Ibsen...

Guess what I’m not excited about? That lecture. In fact, teaching is probably my least favorite kind of job. I will suck it up and do it anyways.



Bouda (aka Bodhinath)

Lastly, I went to a place called Bouda a few days ago. They have one of the biggest Buddhist stupas in Nepal here. Here’s me standing awkwardly in front of it:



Most importantly, I watched a cow pretend it was a pigeon:



And then I ate some Tibetan food and went home.

Top Five

Top Five Things I Love About Nepal (in no particular order)

1. The Sweets
What I like about Meredith is that she's not me. A few days ago, after dinner, we went to a sweet shop a few minutes away from our house. They have a huge assortment of silver-and-gold-foil-topped sweet treats. We picked a few of our favorites: sponge cannoli thing, orange grain thing, bowl of watery rice pudding thing. And lastly, Meredith picked the one I would have never picked: dark brown ball thing. You can see it hiding in the back of the picture below. It was the best ever ever ever. It tasted like an American donut times ten in flavor and texture. Plus it had a yellow goopy thing inside.



2. Random Animals Wandering the Streets
There are many animals that roam the streets of Kathmandu. Mostly, it's mangy, depressed dogs that eat the trash and get kicked by shop owners. Let's not talk about that right now. There's no stray cats because Hindu's believe cats are evil and they shoot them. EXCEPT, a few days ago I caught this awesome picture:



Maybe the dog is protecting the cat?? Someone submit this picture to cuteoverload.com or something. Anyhow, I've also seen many cows (sacred Hindu animal) and yesterday came upon a huge goat! Some kids saw me and Meredith gaping and laughing at it and went over to prove their superiority over it:



My camera sucks so bad.

3. Avocados

Actually, I hate Nepali avocados, but compared to no avocado, I like them. They're watery and too sweet, but before yesterday, I thought they probably didn't exist in Nepal. We found them though!! Meredith is making her special guacamole with them right as I write this. I dunno if you've ever tasted her guac, but let's just say that's the only reason why I'm dating her.

4. Funny Spellings



5. Meredith's Impeccable "Sense of Direction" and The Sites We See On the Way

I admit that my sense of direction is at the bottom of the food chain, but Meredith believes that she is a god among gods when it comes to finding her way. Usually, she's preety good, too. However, she too is fallible and yesterday as she led us home, we got LOST. Yes, we eventually found our way, just as we would've if I was leading. As I questioned her guidance, she laughed and reminded me that she had a good sense of direction. On our journey we saw these guys playing ping pong on a concrete slab:



We also saw the ram I mentioned above. After a half hour, and what should've been 5 minutes, we found our way. As we approached the main road we saw a huge temple that we decided to go into. However, as we walked towards it we noticed it was encased in a weird compound type thing, there were armed guards, and everyone was looking at us funny. A guard asked us where we were going and we pointed at the temple. He shook his head and then Meredith asked where we were and he said: This is the central prison. Here's what we saw before the temple that should've tipped us off:



Ah.

So, clearly I chose those top five things based on what I had pictures of and what I am thinking about at the moment. But, I also like these things: the people, the business men, the Nepali language, the cost of things, the way it rains at night, when the dogs are quiet, being here with Meredith, our really wonderfully nice cook Susila, the pretty saris, the boys that run the buses, fresh vegatables after they're soaked in iodine and giardia-free, getting emails from my friends and family, writing this travelogue, being able to afford things, the himalayas as a backdrop to everything, the cute vests the Nepali boys wear, the hand-made goods, etc, etc.

Put Yourself in Their Place

Yesterday, one of the kids from the orphanage named Madhu came to our apartment to hang out. We talked for a few hours over tea and Meredith's favorite new snack: sliced tomatoes, cucumbers, and red onions with lemon squeezed over them. Madhu is 17 years old and is extremely smart and friendly. He told us a story about how four years ago the orphanage (they call it The Foundation, so I will call it that, too) was run by a horrible guy named Delib. He stole money, didn't take care of the kids, and was a generally sucky owner. Apparently, this is common at Nepalese orphanages. The Foundation is run by this very wealthy German guy named Ludwig (I mentioned him in another post) who everyone has spoken very highly of. He is coming in October and Meredith and I are very eager to meet him. Anyhow, so one day Ludwig came to visit The Foundation (he visits about twice a year) and Madhu took him aside and told him about Delib. Ludwig didn't know about this and he immediately fired him and hired a board of directors who now run The Foundation. Madhu is very happy with the board of "uncles" and "aunts" who come from different parts of the community and help guarantee a corrupt-free organization. With many people overseeing The Foundation, there is less of a chance that someone can take advantage.

Madhu, Meredith, and I went on a long walk south on the main street. Here's a picture to prove it:



As you can see Meredith is wearing her new pants. I told her she could wear them as long as I can call her Aladdin. She agreed. I'm hoping she'll start calling me Jasmin and we can get a monkey.

Anyhow, we ended up at the local zoo. This is the scariest zoo I've ever been to because most of the cages were small and flimsy. Therefore, you could see all the animals and they were really, freakily close to you. Here is the most amazing warning sign ever in life:




Look at that blood!! Every other zoo you are lucky if there is animal visible at all. But at this zoo I had to pretend there were invisible electric fences keeping them in. I swear there was a two foot wooden fence around the rhinos. Here is the hippo that is only separated from us by a flimsy chain-link fence:



Many times I would look up from watching the animals and realize that people were looking at me and Meredith and not the animals. Pretty awesome that we are more interesting than the crocodiles and hippos.

A few other things. Instead of cockroaches, we have tiny, cut little lizards:




Also, as we walked to the zoo we passed by all these incredibly long lines of people with their motorcycles waiting to get petrol. The oil shortage means that people have to wait in hour long lines and pay twice as much.



It is true, there's much pollution here. Especially when you're walking down the main roads. So, I've taken to wearing a bandana around my neck and pulling it up around my nose when it gets especially disgusting. Hey, remember how a hipster fashion has turned into a useful accessory that saves my lungs? I remember. Thanks, hipsters.

American Life

Yesterday, I may have been graced with one of the most awesome quotes in history:

“American Life
Japanese Wife
Chinese Food
Italian Shoes”

Meredith and I went to one of the three durbar (palace) squares in Kathmandu. We had yet to do anything tourtisty because we’ve mostly been hanging out with Nepali people. Foreigners have to pay 250 rupees to get into the square. Here’s me doing my best tourist impression:



Immediately, Nepalese people who wanted to give us a tour approached us. The first man that approached us told us that he loved Americans and hated French people. Then he said my favorite quote (above) and despite my affection for his clever rhyme, we said no to the tour. As we wandered around the square, I realized that we probably made a mistake by not agreeing to the tour. The next guy that came up to us spoke great English, so we agreed to pay him to show us around. Here’s Meredith eagerly learning something:



We saw a holy Brahmin talking on a cell phone as he received mourning women:



Sadhu’s are wandering holy men who give up all material possessions and travel around begging for alms. Meredith said that many people pretend to be Sadhus to get money. They are the kind of people that end up on the front of Lonely Planet guide books because of the dramatic make-up and garb. Our tour guide had a Sadhu came up to us and put a white dot on our foreheads and then pose for a picture. Clearly, all these “real” experiences are planned. It reminded me of when I went to New York for the first time and went to the tenements. Some actors re-enacted tenement life and although they interact with you, they never get out of character. This is how it was in the square, but everyone pretends that the Sadhu aren’t actors. Meredith and the zombie Sadhu:



Everytime I write on this travelogue, I’m reminded how my memory retains maybe 2% of what I learn. Anyhow, here’s the 2% I remember from this piece of information: Brahmins can’t eat off the same plate more than once because…of some reason. Therefore, they must use plates made of leaves so that after they eat they can give the food remainders and plate to animals and then nothing goes to waste. I’m bringing this all up because I took an awesome picture of a woman making these leave plates:



I’m sure every other human being alive has taken this picture and felt like they are Ansel Adams. I don’t care.

Here’s Meredith cheating on me with a mummified frog:




Here’s another choice photo of a man carrying birds around:



Here’s Meredith trying to fit in with her Punjabi suit:



Love.

Finally

On Saturday afternoon we arrived in Kathmandu. We flew in a huge plane from Delhi to Kathmandu with only 15 other people. There was a man in a pink shirt that kept looking at us. When we got in the plane he was sitting far away at first, and then I looked around and he was right behind us. He never said anything he was just quietly menacing. I was wondering if we were to expect this kind of behavior in Kathmandu, but nothing else like this has happened.

In the Delhi airport, this clerk kept coming up to talk to Meredith and me. However, Meredith is a skilled airport sleeper and managed to put seats together to sleep almost 6 hours, so I got the majority of the attention.



I couldn’t go into a bathroom without five or six people telling me I was in the wrong place and “this is the women’s restroom”. Maybe I should expect this. I started to think that I should probably pick a gender and stick with it while in Nepal. Boo. Anyhow, the clerk kept saying that I was a “man/woman” and that it wasn’t wise to look like that. He wanted Meredith and I to accompany him to smoke cigarettes. Luckily, he left me alone after a while. Also, when I went through security, the smile-less guard kept telling me to go the "gents" line. I kept saying that I was a woman, but he insisted over and over again to go in the other line. I finally took off my jacket to convince him with my breasts. That did it. He covered his face with his hands, laughing and turning bright red. Ah well.

Albert, Meredith’s boss, sent his friend Khusbu to pick us up at the airport:



Khusbu has turned out to be an awesome guide and friend. He dropped us off at Albert’s apartment where we will be staying for a month until Albert returns from the States. I realized on the taxi ride from the airport that driving in Nepal would be ten times more scary than any scary trip I've ever taken in New York or Italy or France. There are no stop signs or traffic signals of any kind and yet somehow people are not killed every second.

So, how does Kathmandu look and feel? It's new and old at the same time. Like Europe, only more extreme. Everything is jumbled together. Cornfields and decrepit buildings, stray dogs and palaces, slums on the river and temples, cows on the street and huge houses. Our apartment is across the "street" from a field full of corn and marijuana:



Meredith has serious allergies and got really red and puffy and sneezy and snotty. She took some pills, but there was something in Albert's apartment that was affecting her. We decided it was the sheets that were making things so bad. So we cleaned them. Look at how ridiculously dirty the water is:



On Sunday we went to Khusbu's house about 20 minutes away from Alberts. It's a very nice house with a big backyard. AND a puppy!! Lord, the cutest golden lab pup.



We played with the puppy and with Khusbu's son. His son is a very clever and friendly kid. He taught me some Nepalese and we played Mastermind with him.



Since Meredith was so affected by her allergies, she decided to go take a sauna and massage. Khusbu invited me to go take a look at some of his property and then to an orphange he manages. His property is in an area called China Market where there are all these small shops that sell DVDs for like 20 cents.

Then we went to his orphanage. This has been the highlight of the trip so far. All these awesome kids live there. Very smart and they all speak english. They heard I played guitar and brought me one to play. I played them a short song and they clapped. Though, they also clapped before I began, so that's not really an indication that they liked my music. They were very confused about whether I was a boy or a girl. But, even children in the States are, so I don't think it's a Nepalese thing. One of the kids, Madhu, said he would show us around Kathmandu. The orphanage is paid for by a German billionaire named Ludwig. They all call him 'papa' in the orphanage and have great affection for him. They talked about him a lot. Khusbu said I could come teach a seminar (in what? I don't know...) every week to the kids. I would really like to do it...

After the orphanage we met Meredith in Thamel which is the most touristy part of Kathmandu. We saw some white people and ate some expensive food, which wasn't expensive.

Can't believe we're here. Probably should start believing it though.

3:27am – Los Angeles
6:27am – New York
4:13pm - Kathmandu

In Delhi, India

Hey Rickard,

I got to visit India for an unexpected 12 hours. Actually it was just Delhi. Actually it was just the airport.

Don't have a 12 hour lay-over in Delhi. Or anywhere. But especially here because people keep you in the dark when your plane flight information mysteriously disappears from the departure screen.

We met a nice boy named jon who knows way too much about politcs and is going to Cambodia to teach English and Math and something else...history? Maybe we'll go stay with him.

I'm forcing Meredith to write something on this blog:

"I'm smelly."

Bye Rickard.

P.S. Maybe someday we'll get to Nepal....