Sick and Breast Massage

(Me checking my 103 temp with a cold pair of underwear on my head)

About five days ago I started getting the same awful cough that Meredith has had for a while. She was still pretty sick and was going crazy from the dog barking and metal grinding that surrounds our house 24/7. We decided that we would move to a hotel for a few days for some peace and quiet. We found a place called Kathmandu Peace Guest House which is just outside of Thamel (the really touristy part of Kathmandu). Then we went to do Meredith's favorite thing in the world: get a massage.

I've only gotten three professional massages in my life. One was free at a pole vault meet and the second two were from massage students in Alburquerque and Los Angeles, respectively. I had gotten a massage in Kathmandu at a resort near our apartment, so I knew that the Nepali massages included a "breast massage." Meredith enjoyed me squirm as my female masseuse tapped me and said: "breast massage?" Errrr...I struggled for an answer and then asked the masseuse if Meredith was getting one. Meredith shouted at me: "Yes, just get one!" So, I did and it was fine.

Anyhow, we went to a spa to get another massage and this time we were in separate rooms because I was getting a 90 minute massage so Meredith could get do 30 minutes of sauna. My male masseuse entered and gave me a damn good massage (including the infamous "breast massage" - not as fine this time but whatever). Near the end we started talking and he asked me if I was married. No, I wasn't I replied. He chatted some more and then he asked me for my phone number. Since, I was naked, I said "okay, but I'm naked - let me put some clothes on and then I'll come out and give it to you." As I was dressing I realized that he probably thought I was about to put on some girly clothes. Oh man, hope he dates dykes. Well, turns out he doesn't date dykes:

Him: Oh, I see you wear boys clothes.
Me: Yes, yes I do.
Him: Only today or everyday?
Me: Every day. Even Tuesday.

I didn't say the "Even Tuesday" part but that would have been funny if I did. He was totally heartbroken. He didn't even have the heart to just pretend he still wanted my number. No more breast massage for me.

So, anyways, and then I got really sick the next day. Had 102.5 degree temp and went to a hospital to get some antibiotics and not die. The first hospital checked my temperature under my arm and said my temp was 98.5. As I sat there bathed in sweat and roasting I was like: "Feel my head! You don't even need a thermometer to know I have temperature!!!" They sent me to the regular doctor because apparently I was totally imagining my high temp. We arrived at a room that had a bunch of people sitting in it like they had been waiting an eternity. I started crying and we went to another hospital.

I got antibiotics and suffered like the baby I am through the next five days. I almost went to the hospital again because my temperature flew up to 103.5, but then it went down pretty quickly again. Now we're back at the apartment and desperately searching for a new one.

Let me know if you know of anything in Kathmandu.